The Way You Parent Can Predict Outcomes for Your Child
Posted: August 9, 2019
Parenting styles can have an enormous effect on physical, emotional and relational outcomes for children. Here are four styles of parenting and their outcomes:
1. Authoritarian parenting: My way or the highway! I expect children to listen to me and react to what I request immediately, or very soon. I have strict rules and high expectations. I see myself as their manager, and expect respect.
Outcomes: Low academic performance, decreased self-esteem, poor social skills, mental illness, drug/alcohol abuse, and deliquency.
2. Permissive parenting: I am warm, responsive and I require few rules. I indulge my children when they want something, and I am lenient with them when they break rules.
Outcomes: Impulsivity, poor social skills, problematic relationships, and egocentric children.
3. Uninvolved parenting: I don't see a reason to connect with my children. People call me cold and unresponsive. I don't want to set up rules and expect my children to follow them.
Outcomes: Impulsivity, delinquency, alcohol/drug abuse, and suicide.
4: Authoritative parenting: I am warm and I listen to my children. I respond to then, rather than just reacting. I support my children in whatever they're striving to accomplish, and I value their independence. I have high expectations that are in line with my children's development, and I make my expectations clear.
Outcomes: Higher academic performance, greater social skills, more self-esteem, less mental illness, less delinquency.
Certainly, this is a broad overview, but it's helpful to know the general parenting themes and how they can affect children's lives. Few parents use all one or another of these types, as we may vacillate between authoritative and authoritarian, or permissive to authoritative, from time to time. You may recognize the ways your parents dealt with you, and be able to identify your own responses to the various styles. Some quite resilient children can overcome their parents' styles, through having other adults in their lives who are supportive and responsive. Many parents see their spouses or partners on this list and may have a desire to open a conversation about more cohesive parenting styles in your home. We can help with that!
The hope is that awareness of the types can create more peace in your home, and bring about the outcomes you truly want for your children. For help with this or another parenting issue, for any age child, anywhere in the US or Canada, click here.