Handout for "LGBTQIA+ - We have questions.

Posted: February 24, 2021

Slide 1
LGBTQA+
We Have
Questions www.anufs.org
Copyright © 2021 Anu Family Services
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
Slide 2
For this
session • Your questions are welcome, and
please type them in the Q and A.
We have time to answer all of
them at the end.
• Thanks for being here!
Copyright © 2021 Anu Family Services
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
Slide 3
Our
session
includes:
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
Slide 4
What LGBTQIA+ Means
• Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Pansexual, Transgender, Genderqueer, Queer, Intersexed,
Agender, Asexual, and Ally community.
• Queer – An umbrella term which embraces a matrix of sexual preferences,
orientations, and habits of the not-exclusively- heterosexual-and-monogamous
majority.
Copyright © 2021 Anu Family Services
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
Slide 5
Risks: Identity
and overrepresentation
in the system
Several studies have found that LGBT
young people are overrepresented in
child welfare systems, due to likely
being underreported because they
risk harassment and abuse if their
LGBT identity is disclosed.
Copyright © 2021 Anu Family Services
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
Slide 6
The chances
of ending up
in foster care
or homeless
• About 26 percent of LGBT2 youth are
forced from their homes because of
conflicts with their families of origin
over sexual orientation or gender
identity.
• Physical violence is also a concern for
LGBTQ youth. In another study, 30
percent of LGBT youth reported
physical violence at the hands of a
family member after coming out as
LGBT.3
Source: https://youth.gov/youth-topics/lgbtqyouth/
child-welfare
Copyright © 2021 Anu Family Services
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
Slide 7
Homelessness
• An estimated 43% of LGBTQ youth experiencing homelessness are
forced from their homes because of conflicts with their families about
their sexual orientation of gender identity
• 32% of homeless LGBTQ youth have experienced physical, emotional,
or sexual abuse at home over their sexual orientation or gender
identity.4
Source: https://www.air.org/project/preventing-homelessness-lesbian-gaybisexual-
transgender-and-questioning-lgbtq-youth
Copyright © 2021 Anu Family Services
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
Slide 8
Identity and
overrepresentation
Although approximately 4-10
percent of the total population is
estimated to be LGBT,5 a study in
Los Angeles estimated that LGBT
youth represent 19 percent of
those placed in out-of-home care.6
Source: https://youth.gov/youth-topics/lgbtqyouth/
child-welfare
Copyright © 2021 Anu Family Services
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
Slide 9
Suicide risk
Copyright © 2021 Anu Family Services
More than half of transgender male teens
who participated in the survey reported
attempting suicide in their lifetime, while
29.9 percent of transgender female teens
said they attempted suicide. Among nonbinary
youth, 41.8 percent of respondents
stated that they had attempted suicide at
some point in their lives.
Source: hrc.org
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
Slide 10
Not likely to
find
permanent
homes
7
Copyright © 2021 Anu Family Services
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
Slide 11
What are the
gender
identities?
Young people who are questioning
their gender may identify as:
-transgender – identity and sex assigned at
birth don’t correspond
-bisexual – attracted to their own gender and
at least one other gender
Copyright © 2021 Anu Family Services
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
Slide 12
Identities
-straight – attracted to the opposite sex
-lesbian – homosexual female to female
attraction
Copyright © 2021 Anu Family Services
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
Slide 13
Identities
-polysexual – gender may or may not be
a factor in attraction
(not attracted to all genders)
-pansexual – attraction regardless of
gender
Copyright © 2021 Anu Family Services
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
Slide 14
Identities
-asexual – lack of sexual attraction
(may still be romantic)
-gay – homosexual (commonly male-tomale
attraction)
Copyright © 2021 Anu Family Services
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
Slide 15
Identities
-cis gender – personal identity and gender
correspond with birth sex
-genderqueer – an umbrella term: an identity
that doesn’t follow norms
Copyright © 2021 Anu Family Services
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
Slide 16
Identities
-Some people describe their sexuality
and gender identity as being fluid – that is, they
change over time.
Intersex is a sex type, not an identity - having both
male and female genitalia. Often in infancy or
adolescence, hormone and surgical procedures are
used “correct” the genitalia. This can lead to
confusion for the future adult, as they may grow to
identify with a different gender.
Copyright © 2021 Anu Family Services
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
Slide 17
Spectrums
Copyright © 2021 Anu Family Services
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
Slide 18
The ability to legally identify oneself
In 2016, nearly 25 percent of the world’s population had access to
a legal Intersex identification at birth with India, Pakistan, Nepal,
and Bangladesh as major contributors.
The remaining 75 percent of the world, including the United
States, is only left with the options “Male” or “Female.”
Helpful Resource: https://genderspectrum.org/
Copyright © 2021 Anu Family Services
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
Slide 19
Language
can get
confusing
Copyright © 2021 Anu Family Services
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
Slide 20
Use of
language
• “He wants to be gay.”
• “She wants to be transgender.”
• “He thinks he’s a girl.”
• “He says he’s attracted to anyone.”
• She’s decided she likes girls.”
These are harmful, as no one is choosing.
Ask, “What’s my first memory of being
heterosexual?” or “When did I decide to
be heterosexual?”
Copyright © 2021 Anu Family Services
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
Slide 21
From a college
ambassador
who is helping
youth deal
with parents’
responses
First: Just listen.
“The absolute, number one thing a parent can do
for their child is listen, said GLAAD ambassador
Rowan Hepps Keeney. "I can’t tell you how
important it is to just have a parent listen to what
you have to say about your identity, about your
experience — about what’s frustrating about being
queer, about what’s amazing about being queer —
and to have that be validated.”
Copyright © 2021 Anu Family Services
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
Slide 22
Note how
difficult the
conversation
is, from your
kid's
perspective.
• If you think *you're* having a hard time
accepting this, imagine the steps it took for your
kid to get to the point where they could even
vocalize their identity to you.
• “Listen to your kids, hear them out. It’s really
hard for them to say these things, it’s not
something that can just be said easily," says
Gianna Collier-Pitts, college ambassador.
Copyright © 2021 Anu Family Services
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
Slide 23
Understand
that your
opinion
*really*
matters to
them.
“I really couldn’t have cared less about what
anyone else thought about my queerness," Joon
Park said.
"It was really just my mother’s acceptance I
yearned for, and when she gave that to me, my
world changed, and I was able to really blossom
into my true and authentic self.”
Copyright © 2021 Anu Family Services
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
Slide 24
Don't think
about what
the rest of
the world
will say.
• It's a common reflex for parents to immediately
worry about how their kids will navigate the
world, or what friends and family will say. There
are definitely trials and tribulations, but your kid
has likely already faced or considered these
hurdles.
• "One of the main things that’s really important
for parents to do for their kids is to give them
space, to not make any assumptions about what
this time in their life means.”
Copyright © 2021 Anu Family Services
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
Slide 25
Don't make
them doubt
or secondguess
their
identity.
• Coming out isn't something kids do lightly. If your
child is having this conversation with you, take it
seriously and don't tell them it's a "phase" or
something that they're only questioning because
of their age. And don’t assume the bio parents or
other caretakers did something to make this
happen.
• Avoid saying things like, “Don’t make any
decisions yet, you’re young.” This is a good
sentiment to have across the board, but not just
when your child tells you that he or she is coming
out as queer.
Copyright © 2021 Anu Family Services
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
Slide 26
Do your best
at affirming
their identity
with
pronouns
that fit.
• Use the right pronouns and call your child what
they've asked to be called. If you mess up, apologize
and fix it instead of letting it slide. Call out other
family members if they refer to your child incorrectly
— even if your kid isn't present to see you advocate
for them.
• Saying “it’s hard” is fine at the beginning but work to
make the pronoun shift as soon as you can. It
matters so much to your child.
Source: Seventeen Magazine
https://www.seventeen.com/life/a15924747/heresexactly-
what-lgbtq-people-wish-their-parents-knew/
Copyright © 2021 Anu Family Services
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
Slide 27
More words of
affirmation.
• Any words of affirmation are ALWAYS
good. Say, “Thank you for sharing this
with me. I really appreciate you confiding
in me.”
• “You matter and your feelings are valid.”
• Reinforcing that you love your kid and will
always support them is extremely
important.
Copyright © 2021 Anu Family Services
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
Slide 28 Childhood resilience is supported by one caring
stable adult
• “I’m with you. Let’s keep talking about your thoughts regarding being
gay.”
• “Thank you for telling me that you’re a girl inside. I have to admit it’s
different for me, but I’ll work on this. You’re teaching me new
things.”
• “How can I support you with our relatives? Should we talk to them
together?”
Copyright © 2021 Anu Family Services
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
Slide 29
More to say …
• “Who have you told about feeling bisexual? Do you feel safe letting
your friends know?”
• “If you could choose any future life, what would it look like?”
• “Even if I sometimes don’t understand, you always have my support.”
• Article from a lesbian who came out to her mom at 37.
https://grownandflown.com/parenting-lgbtq-child/
Copyright © 2021 Anu Family Services
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
Slide 30 Video: Kids Of Gay Parents Speak Out -
(bi/straight parents too)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JG0yqhzVuYA&ab_channel=Team
AngelicaFilms 3:47
Copyright © 2021 Anu Family Services
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
Slide 31
Raising
Ryland:
Parenting a
Transgender
Child
https://www.cnn.com/2015/03/18/living/fe
at-transgender-child-raisingryland/
index.html
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
Slide 32
This is a Book for Parents of Gay Kids
• https://www.amazon.com/This-Book-Parents-G
ay-Kids/dp/1452127530?linkCode=ogi&tag=seventeen_auto-append-
20&ascsubtag=[artid|10065.a.15924747[src|[ch|[lt|
Copyright © 2021 Anu Family Services
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
Slide 33
Helping your kids as they navigate the world
MN Standards of LGBTQ Inclusion
https://www.justushealth.org/sites/default/files/inlinefiles/
MN%20LGBTQ%20Standards%20of%20Inclusion.pdf
Copyright © 2021 Anu Family Services
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
Slide 34
Questions?
Copyright © 2021 Anu Family Services
Tina Feigal, M.S.Ed.,
Director of Family Engagement, Parent Coach
and Trainer
Anu Family Services
www.parentingmojo.com
Author: Present Moment Parenting on Amazon
and Audible
tfeigal@anufs.org
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
___________________________________
Copyright 2021 © Anu Family Services
All rights reserved.
Do not copy without express permission.

Send this blog post to someone:

SUBMIT