I look at my son now with amazement. We tried so many things to help my son with his attention and behavior issues, including three different drugs. Nothing seemed to help. He had reactions to every drug they gave him. One time he didn’t eat or sleep for 2 days. Out of desperation, I called the Center for the Challenging…
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As if the start of the year isn't filled with enough anxiety, here comes the COVID-protocol-but-what-about-academics-and-my-child-is-behind-and-will-she-be-safe start of school.
I want to talk about your feelings in this edition, because you really matter and because what you feel often gets transmitted to the child in front of you, even if you don't say anything. Kids are funny that way - they can read your heart.
Anxiety is fear where there's no present threat. Is it presently threatening to send your child into a building where the Delta variant is still very real? It could be. Is the school doing all it can to keep your child safe? Check it out and only send them if it feels as safe as it can be under these circumstances. If it doesn't, contact the school and ask for more safety. Or choose a different school or method of learning.
Now I have this to offer you, Dear Parent. Do what you can to assure the child's safety. Find out how to get free testing for your child or buy some home test kits for your peace of mind.
Then decide whether to visualize your child in peril, or in a safe welcoming environment. For the latter, which I recommend, visualize teachers, many with school-age children of their own, who are working VERY hard to make the school year satisfying to the students. Visualize that they have taken their own precautions to keep everyone safe, and that they are following district guidelines. Visualize that they realize that creating a warm environment overrides academics at the start of this year, that connecting with their students is what will help them feel safe enough to learn. Visualize that everyone is in "catch-up mode." You and your child are not alone.
Remember that no matter how much it seems like it does, worry never changes a situation for the better.
Ask yourself: "What if something goes very right today?" Do this over and over as a gift to you.
Then do what you can to exude confidence in your child's adaptability. Say, "Remember how you got through so much last year? I notice how you built some real skill in making it work. Nothing can take that skill away from you. You're taking it to school with you, and maybe you'll even have an opportunity to help other kids feel safe and included."
"I trust you to do your best."
These times are far from normal, but the lessons in them are invaluable in helping kids cope with the unexpected.
When child behavior is out of control and you're feeling like the battle just rages on, what can Present Moment Parenting do for you, the parent, the one who feels overwhelmed and way too responsible for everything?
Handout for "Trauma: It's Not Just Affecting Our Clients"
Social services workers are feeling the effects of secondary trauma. Here are some hints for managing compassion fatigue, burnout, and vicarious trauma. Self-care and a positive work environment are key! I offer trainings on this topic for your group or staff. Write email@example.com for details.
Juggling the stress of maintaining your own and your family's health,schooling from home full- or part-time, parenting emotional kids whose lives are upended, working from home or away, meals, shopping, housework, limited contact with others, and keeping yourself in shape - what's in it for you? Where's the relief for parents? How are you coping?
Tina, I miss you! But you are never far from our thoughts, I am experiencing so much success managing Christopher’s behavior. I feel like I know him so well now that you have pointed out MAJOR things that I would never have known. I am growing so much as a person – to see his relief and comfort from my reaching out to him and expressing how I think he’s feeling is amazing. So fun to witness in a small child! Also, I wanted to tell you was the other great great thing that you taught us is that there are so many things that the kids ask to do that are okay.
Struggle With Child Behavior?
Maybe your child or teen has no diagnosis, but the child behavior problems are just too big to handle on your own. You feel ready for "personalized parent education" customized to your family's needs.