My experience thus far with Tina Feigal’s parent coaching has been eye-opening, to say the least. Over the years I have read many books on challenging children, trauma, parenting, etc. I have attended several trainings with well-known speaker Heather Forbes’ Beyond Consequences, Logic, Self-Control, as well as trauma informed care…
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Parenting Mojo Blog
As if the start of the year isn't filled with enough anxiety, here comes the COVID-protocol-but-what-about-academics-and-my-child-is-behind-and-will-she-be-safe start of school.
I want to talk about your feelings in this edition, because you really matter and because what you feel often gets transmitted to the child in front of you, even if you don't say anything. Kids are funny that way - they can read your heart.
Anxiety is fear where there's no present threat. Is it presently threatening to send your child into a building where the Delta variant is still very real? It could be. Is the school doing all it can to keep your child safe? Check it out and only send them if it feels as safe as it can be under these circumstances. If it doesn't, contact the school and ask for more safety. Or choose a different school or method of learning.
Now I have this to offer you, Dear Parent. Do what you can to assure the child's safety. Find out how to get free testing for your child or buy some home test kits for your peace of mind.
Then decide whether to visualize your child in peril, or in a safe welcoming environment. For the latter, which I recommend, visualize teachers, many with school-age children of their own, who are working VERY hard to make the school year satisfying to the students. Visualize that they have taken their own precautions to keep everyone safe, and that they are following district guidelines. Visualize that they realize that creating a warm environment overrides academics at the start of this year, that connecting with their students is what will help them feel safe enough to learn. Visualize that everyone is in "catch-up mode." You and your child are not alone.
Remember that no matter how much it seems like it does, worry never changes a situation for the better.
Ask yourself: "What if something goes very right today?" Do this over and over as a gift to you.
Then do what you can to exude confidence in your child's adaptability. Say, "Remember how you got through so much last year? I notice how you built some real skill in making it work. Nothing can take that skill away from you. You're taking it to school with you, and maybe you'll even have an opportunity to help other kids feel safe and included."
"I trust you to do your best."
These times are far from normal, but the lessons in them are invaluable in helping kids cope with the unexpected.
How to Manage a Peaceful Back-to-School Transition
When school is about to start, what’s foremost on your mind? What clothes do the kids need? Will their backpacks do for another year? How about folders, paper, and pencils? Are iPods allowed? What time does the bus come? Are lunches ordered or groceries purchased?
I am a Mom to 2 boys with “ADHD”, and it is amazing what can be done for them by changing our thinking… I have learned to be thankful for the challenges we have faced with our two boys, and for the journey of personal development which continues to show me so many wonderful things. I finally got the concept about not putting energy into any “problem behavior”, and this is changing our lives. Probably the biggest change we have made is not “labeling” our boys … This has opened up a whole new life for us, and we now focus on their many wonderful capabilities- building on those one step at a time. This development now feels as though little miracles continue to happen for us, and we are extremely thankful for the continuing progress that we experience with our boys. I now hope to inspire other parents of “special kids” in their search to find harmony in their lives. Your affirmations are very inspiring for not only my own family, but hopefully in helping others here in Denmark as well. Once again, thank you for your insight!
Struggle With Child Behavior?
Maybe your child or teen has no diagnosis, but the child behavior problems are just too big to handle on your own. You feel ready for "personalized parent education" customized to your family's needs.